Expectations. Premeditated resentments. Unnecessary stress. Yesterday, I did a great job of placing the responsibility of change squarely on the shoulders of my clients--where it belongs, of course. And yet, for hours afterward I was left with a sadness I couldn't explain. Through reflection and journaling, I stumbled across the thought: I expect my clients... Continue Reading →


Leadership, or a lack thereof

I've been thinking a lot about management. For the last 2 years or so I've worked essentially unsupervised, and I've appreciated the breathing room. If you asked the managers I've worked for in the years since grad school, they might tell you I have a problem with authority. I actually had a supervisor tell me... Continue Reading →

When good storytelling hits you in the feels

I recently watched Hasan Minhaj's Homecoming King, and I was really moved--to laughter and to tears. He's incredibly talented and such an important voice right now. His stories about growing up brown in America hit many of the high points that I can only try to explain to my non-brown friends. The expectations that seem out... Continue Reading →

A note from your (human) therapist

It turns out that your therapist has a few--*gasp*--expectations! Deep breaths, everyone. Peel yourself off the floor if you fainted. I can wait... "Expectations" is practically a dirty word, isn't it? Therapists aren't supposed to have them. We're supposed to be unconditionally supportive, allowing you to be as you are in any given moment. Yes... and I... Continue Reading →

apparently I’m a therapist

I stumbled upon some new (to me) remote job search sites. So I started looking. I think it would be nice to have another revenue stream that doesn't revolve around getting more therapy clients. And wouldn't it be nice to flex some other muscles, to remind myself that I'm more than a helping professional? To... Continue Reading →

Where are the words?

I'm truly amazed at how often you bloggers out there blog. Monthly, biweekly, even weekly! How do you do it? How do you always have something to say? If I don't, does that mean I'm uninspired/ing? Meh. I choose not to berate myself like that. Hasn't helped me before. But I'm still impressed with those... Continue Reading →

I see your pain…now what?

I've been thinking a lot about emotional pain. How it looks. How people respond to it. What makes it better. How sometimes you're just supposed to sit with it, and other times you need to challenge it. How sometimes you need someone to sit with you, and other times you need to be left alone.... Continue Reading →

Don’t tell me. Show me.

I find it hard to update here when I'm working on my novel. So much of my energy is directed at just getting the words on the page. But I often have moments of wanting to talk about the process of writing, and this feels like the right place to do it. Especially if any... Continue Reading →


Well I figured out what my lesson is for this lifetime - to learn to live without a sense of security. It's the only thing I've ever wanted - to feel like something that is will continue to be. Trust me, I know all about non-attachment and letting go and impermanence. And I've gotten so much stronger... Continue Reading →

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